The Vegetarian Option…

It was late. It’d been a very busy day and Carol Coney, PR to the company secretary had run like a Rocket to get to the Function room and organise the seating plan, and everything else too. Now it was all over and she leant against a coat-stand in the lobby to catch her breath and looked back at the day.

” Soya there, you look Beet,” remarked the sales rep. “What’s up? ”

“Phew, I Yam,” she replied “I’m fed up with this Caper I can tell you. The big wigs from Broccoli Head office showed up early this morning and were waiting for the exchange group from Brussels to arrive. When they finally Turnip I had to take them to the Savoy to liaise with Charlotte, Maris and Desiree; Had the French Bean on time I could’ve used both the courtesy cars for the journey. As it was I had to send a Runner in the other car to collect the Swede at the airport. The flowers and presentation items all had to go in the same car with the visitors. It was a bit of a Squash I can tell you.”


“You’re not kidding, and then they couldn’t find him at first but Fennely tracked him down in the bar trying to Sea Kale of the traditional British sort. Seems the Current modern lager beers are not to his taste.”

“I can agree with him there…”

“Then at the reception dinner my ‘head of team’, for some reason insisted on saying Grace – apparently in deference to the Romanesco and Spinach contingent. He stumbled over ‘Lettuce pray for Peas on earth and then proceeded to Sprout on so long, the soup began to congeal and go Khol; Rhabi eventually shut him up somehow and things looked as if they were going alright. Olive in accounts commented ‘He’s a little Gem,’ I reckon he deserves a Celery raise.”

” Sounds like fun, any more ?”

“Well, not much until Arti choked on the Iceberg which he didn’t see coming – apparently he’s allergic and hadn’t warned anyone. On top of that the boss’s wife wore her best Bonnet and a sable wrap, presumably in case she felt Chilli, but Gerry who’d spent half the time reading the Peppers didn’t notice when he spilled sauce on it. That didn’t go down very well I can tell you. That’s Shallot I thought to myself, no Plum job for you matey!”

“Sounds like a riot, what else happened?” persisted the Rep, now somewhat amused.

“Well, both the big wigs went to town on the ‘glad-handing’ – Pumpkin every arm in sight. Nobody looked very comfortable at the end of it though. I thought, what’s the Marrow with them that was totally OTT. Gourd help us if that’s going to rescue the deal…

“Better start looking for a new job you mean…?”

“Who knows, but Mung other things I haven’t eaten all day I’m starving, nothing left for me to eat but a few stale crisps!”

“The usual Vegetarian Option you mean?”








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3 Responses to The Vegetarian Option…

  1. marian philips says:

    Very clever!

  2. Alexis Coles says:

    very clever word play, very amusing indeed

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